Bad Art

24 05 2011

Stainless steel, my husband insisted upon it. I have to admit;
it gleams nicely after a cleaning and reflects the natural glimmer in our
granite countertops. But once or twice a day, the stainless steel becomes a
canvas for master food artist, Sidney. Prunes, sweet potatoes or freshly
steamed pears splatter like bad art masking the gleaming surface. I’d like a
raise in pay. After all, it was my husband’s idea to spend the extra money on
stainless steel; the fifteen minutes I spend cleaning and shining it, I could
spend cleaning myself.

Meal time brings out Sidney’s fickleness. Some meals on some
days she shows a voracious appetite that my husband and I can relate to. For
thin people, we eat an awful lot. Healthy foods mind you, but we also admit (as
products of the 80’s) that we like our Dairy Queen.

Most meals are unfortunately, a struggle of some nature. I
try my best to smile and not care, but I do care. I want my child to like and
appreciate good food. She might only be days shy of nine months but surely she
can appreciate the quality of a deeply colored organic yam compared to
conventional baby food mush, right?

I’ve stumbled upon two tricks of the trade: self-eating and
the hold-and-eat. Both have serious logistical drawbacks. The self-eating model
results in the aforementioned stainless steel art; the latter results in a
beefy, albeit fatigued, left bicep muscle complete with a dirty rotator-cuff. I
use whatever tactic I feel will work best for that moment. And if both fail, I remind
myself to take a deep breath, pop the cover back on the carrots and look
forward to the stainless steel food art of the next meal.

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